If I’m Being Honest

At a PD last school year, the instructor showed us a video of Rudy Francisco performing his poem “My Honest Poem.” I was so moved by the poem, that I did an imitation activity with my students where they used Francisco’s structure to create their own honest poems. Because I am a writer, too, I created my own version of “My Honest Poem.”

It is honest and, as with any good writing, a work in progress. After all, what is true right now may become false in the coming years. Enjoy.

 

“My Honest Poem” by Megan Thompson

 

I was born on May 24^th, Gemini by the stars

I think that means I have a split personality

I’m 5 foot 4…and a quarter. I weigh, well, if I’m being honest, more than I did in high school

I don’t know how to boil an egg, and I’m very glad that my husband does all the cooking

And adventure seeking.

 

I compete with cell phones for attention on the daily

From my students, my own children,

And even the man who is supposed to put me first

 

I like Dr. Pepper…a lot.

But I know I shouldn’t have it too much because it is bad for my teeth, my heart,

And my self-confidence

I find myself consumed with what others think and say about me

When, in reality, most days I don’t even know what I think of myself

I thought walking up on hushed conversations and guilty expressions would end when I graduated high school

But then I became a high school teacher

I’ve been told a million times that I’d forget my own head if it weren’t screwed onto my body

I live in a society where I feel the need to apologize for growing up wealthy with two parents who are one year away from 50 years of marriage

I contemplate my word choice heavily- I already regret the choice to use “wealthy” two lines ago because I know you are judging me

Some days, I’m a really good teacher, others, I’m a stellar wife, and still others, I’m mom of the year

Never am I all three at the same time

Because the focus can only be spread so thin before it becomes transparent

Like concrete, I crack under pressure

I’m not afraid of loving too hard

But I’m terrified of losing too much

 

I’ve never had a detention, but I have a stack of office referrals signed by me

I write myself up for not being the mother my mom is

And falling short of perfection

I secretly despise Pinterest-perfect moms who seem to have it all together

I’m embarrassed that my 5-year-old lies and eats candy for dinner sometimes

While my 3-year-old sucks her toe and talks really loud at all the wrong times

I love my girls with all I have

And worry daily that it isn’t enough

 

Hi, my name is Megan

I enjoy reading, warm summer days,

And blaring music through my car speakers

I love the idea of a sunroof, but hate the heat it lets in

I allow myself to cry too often

And regret my weakness the second the tears hit my cheeks

My hobbies include wallowing in self-guilt, starting projects I will never finish,

And treading water in this sea we call life

I know that life is chaotic now

And that I will miss the chaos someday

I know that if God puts me to it, He will help me through it

And what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.